What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.

When I was younger I use to fight with my siblings; not fist fighting but, from time to time we would get into arguments, or I would punch my younger brother. I remember one time vividly when I wasn’t feeling well at all, and my younger brother always wanted to wrestle. I told him that I didn’t want to be his wrestling opponent because I wasn’t feeling well. However, he kept asking and I kept telling him no. He then proceeded to approach me, and despite me telling him no he decided to show me this move that he had just learned.

Much to his dismay, as he was attempting to show me this leg hold (I think it was called the Full Nelson or something like that), I kicked him in his private part as I was escaping his hold. He was so hurt by my action that he went crying to my father. My father, in response to his cries, told him to "tough it out", because my dad heard me tell my brother that I didn’t want to play.

My brother, not receiving any compassion from my father, went to tell my mother. My mother, full of compassion, made me apologize and made me forgive him for hurting me. I was bothered by that course of action because I felt like I wasn’t in the wrong. He was wrong in my eyes, making my willingness not so willing.

After she spanked me for not apologizing wholeheartedly and forgiving him for his apology, she then explained to me that God forgives us every time we ask Him. I then tried to tell her that I wasn’t God. That statement got me in trouble again for having a smart mouth. Well after two spankings I did give my brother a heartfelt apology, and I forgave him for bothering me. My mother went on to share with me about how having unforgiveness in your heart is a sin, and how, as children of God, we shouldn’t hold on to things that aren’t like Christ.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians‬

That conversation followed me throughout my life making it easier and easier to release unforgiveness and apologize (even if I’m not wrong). You see, I realized that if I hold on to resentment from someone who has hurt me then I have given them all of my power leaving me powerless. On the other hand, forgiving the individual who wronged me gives me the power back.

Just because I have chosen to forgive doesn’t mean that I have forgotten the actions of that person. It just means that I refuse to let it have power over me. I take every situation, and I learn from them. Each time I forgive I become stronger in that area. So, if you are holding on to unforgiveness I encourage you to release it allowing God to heal you from the inside out because holding on to unforgiveness will only cause your heart to become hardened. Be free!