Lifestyle Changes. Not Resolutions.
With January being here, this is the time of year where people start the dreadful New Year’s Resolution. Many, many, many moons ago I decided not to start a resolution, because the word itself, to me, always seemed intimidating and out of reach. I had all of these great intentions, but it was accompanied by my horrible follow through. As one year left and a new year began, I realized that once again I had lied to myself; my high hopes of accomplishing a goal were followed by the disappointment of incompletion.
So I changed the plan. Years ago, I decided that instead of making a New Year’s Resolution list, I would just start with a lifestyle change. Since then, I have taken November and December to look at and really examine these four areas in my life, seeing what changes need to be made.
Christian Walk
Relationships
Health
Finances
After the self-evaluation, I pinpoint the area where I want to see a change, and I start with small obtainable goals that are reachable. For example, on my list under “health”, I decided that I wanted to lose weight. So what I did first was I stopped putting a number behind it. I stopped looking at how much I want to lose, but instead, I started the change with action. I began the change with the “how” and not with the end goal in mind. I started eating better and made it a point to go to the gym once a week. Some may ask, “Why do you start so small?” I believe that when you set your heights too high it may become intangible or even inconceivable. It can become out of reach, which then, in return, can cause you to spiral downward negatively affecting your perspective on attaining your goal. So, I start with an attainable goal. I start by evaluating my life and focusing on those four areas. For instance, once a week in the gym is doable with my schedule. It is something that I know that I can hit the mark on.
One of the things that I try to keep in mind when I make these changes is that I never want to make my goals so high that if I find myself at a point in the year that I am not where I want to be, that I then try to stuff a whole year’s worth of work in that area into a few months. Then what was meant to be a good thing, a good change starts to feel like a burden, baggage, a hindrance, or a stumbling block that I don’t want to carry into the next New Year.
I also reevaluate relationships, and I release the ones that are toxic to me. The philosophy I try to live by with friends is this, “if they don’t add to me then they take away from me”. Subsequently, only so much can be taken away until there is nothing left for me to give, making the relationship imbalanced and draining?” It’s a very intricate balance of adding and subtracting yearly. I look at my relationships with me as a sister, wife, mother, and daughter. I see what changes I can make, and what I can do better in those particular relationships in the New Year.
I also look at my financial situation to examine what items can be tweaked in my budget to help push me further along in other areas of goal achievement. I look at my spiritual walk and see if there are some adjustments that can be made there. Not every year requires changes in every area, but I look intensively in each area before coming to that conclusion.
I was in church one Sunday and my assistant Pastor shared a quote in our pre-service huddle. He said, “A parked car never goes anywhere.” The simplicity of that statement spoke to me so profoundly. You can have as many ideas that you want to accomplish in the New Year, but if you don’t put any small action towards them you will never make any progress.
The Bible tells us in James 2:26 (NKJV), “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without work is dead also.” With each New Year, I work, evolve, and work some more on becoming a better me. Change is hard and difficult, but it’s always needed and always worth it.
So as you start your New Year, take a look at what changes you would like to incorporate, and take smalls steps to allow those changes to become a reality. This year don’t make a resolution! Make a lifestyle change working towards accomplishing those tasks that you’ve set before yourself.